Sunday Candy

“You gotta move slowly; take and eat my body like it’s holy.”

This song resonates with me. I can’t stop listening to it, I can’t stop singing it, and I don’t even really understand 100% what it’s about. Don’t bother telling me I could research it and learn, because I could, but I choose not to. Rather, I choose to believe it’s about really savoring the sweetest thing.

Lincoln has been the sweetest thing in my life. Don’t get me wrong, Blair is neat, and Valentine is my favorite place in the world, but there’s something about Lincoln. There’s something about the people I’ve met, the adventures I’ve been on, the classes I’ve taken, the jobs I’ve had, there’s just something more to it.

Savoring each moment, each sweet moment of Lincoln, until the time comes for me to move on is now one of my top priorities. It’s the early mornings listening to the highway and the dog park behind my house, smoking my morning cigarettes and drinking cheap black coffee. It’s sunny Sunday afternoons when my friends and I decide to go for a hike in some of Lincoln’s beautiful little hideaways. It’s sitting outside at 4 in the morning, listening to the slow trickle of traffic and the trains. It’s driving over that one highway that gives you the perfect view of Lincoln.

All in all, it’s the memories of Lincoln that I will be left with in the end, and I plan to savor my time now, but I know some day, looking back, these will be the ‘good old days’ and I’ll savor the memories even more.


Finding Myself

Somewhere in the midst of my dog season, and school, and work, I’ve lost a bit of who I am. So this is to outline who I think I am.

  1. I love dogs. I love all animals, but especially cows, elephants, and dogs. I need to spend more time with my dog, specifically training him. Which reminds me, I need to buy treats.
  2. I’m a writer. I need to work on writing more, whether its this blog, social media, the novel I tell myself I’m going to write, a memoir of my life, it doesn’t matter. I need to write more.
  3. Positivity,  I used to be the happiest person you’d ever meet and I’d like to get back to that, so I’m going to focus only on the positive aspects in my life and try to diminish as much negativity as I can.
  4. I’m a creator. Creativity has always been huge to me and I need to express myself more. I’m thinking somewhere along the lines of photography, maybe short stories to go with the pictures, I don’t know. But, I need to create something. That might be my next series of blog posts.
  5. I’m a student. I need to focus more on school and less on everything else (sleep, work, sleep, Netflix).
  6. I work. I need to be dedicated and reliable in my work. I need to make money, and I need to come up with a plan to save money. (I am open to suggestions.)
  7. I need to be a better friend. I need to empower my friends to grow towards their greatest potential more often than I do.

This seems like a good start to me.


Dog season is my favorite time of year. If you’re unaware of what dog season is, it’s the time of year when you experience the most new dogs, and it can be literally any time and different times for different people. I have pictures with most of the dogs I’ve met since moving to Lincoln, but this one sticks out to me the most. So here’s the story:

Setting: 1145 C**** Street, football season, everyday it feels like, but most likely just game days.

This was this house I partied at all the time during my first Husker football season in Lincoln. I don’t remember the house inhabitants names, or honestly, this dog’s real name, but I remember very clearly how many times I tried to take him home, (9 times).

I called him Poof, and while there were hundreds of people in and out of this house, this little fluffy ball of joy just ran wild (including in the streets, which were very busy, which is why I tried to steal him.) Every time I was there, I would seek him out, and carry him around the rest of the time I was there. He loved me, and I loved him. He was probably my best friend during this period of time in my life. If I was shotgunning a beer, he was there. If I was on the roof, he was there. If I was playing beer pong, he was there. We were seriously best fucking friends.

Here’s the moral of the story: I believe one of the owners’ names was maybe Brandon, and if anyone know what happened to this dog, I want to know. If anyone can find him, I’ll buy him at any cost. Wasn’t being taken care of the way he deserved, and I promise I could give him a better life. It’s been a year since I’ve seen him, and I miss him. I don’t know what happened to him (the house is empty now) but I want to know. I at least want to know that he’s okay.

Fall Down

As fall comes around again, many things have become very clear to me. Just like the leaves, I’ve fallen. I’ve let go of so much, and I’ve floated carelessly for days on end. Because of these things, I’ve decided to come back to my blog, because it always made me feel better when I was down. This post will have two parts. Falling, and being down.

Being down should come first. For the first time in my life, I’ve experienced some serious depression during this season. It’s not my usual seasonal mood disorder, or whatever that is called. It was real, wanting to die, hating everyone, struggling to get out of bed depression.From this, I’ve learned several things, and I want to share them, in case any of you are going through a hard time right now, or any time.

  1. Medication, as much as it may suck, is sometimes necessary. I honestly don’t know if I would still be on this planet if it weren’t for the anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication I am on.
  2. Having a support system that is actually there for you even without you asking them to be, is so so important. My roommate, my best friend, Amanda, and my family mean everything to me, especially after everything I’ve been through recently.
  3. School is a synonym for hell, but it isn’t going to kill you. You’re not dying because of school, and attendance to your classes, whether it’s mandatory or not, will determine whether you succeed or not. Just do it. Especially if its already paid for.
  4. Wanting to die is a feeling nobody should ever have to experience, and unfortunately so many people feel that way every day. I remember my freshman year of college, I had a scare with one of my siblings feeling this way and it broke me. During my year long break from school, my best friend went through it, and it broke me. But now that I’ve gone through it, they were there to fix me. I was broken, and they did everything they could to make me feel better and they honestly saved me. So thank you to any of you who talked me off my ledge (B) if you’re reading this.
  5. If you ever need someone to talk to, I don’t care who you are, what you’ve done, or what you’re going through, I am here to talk to anyone. Message me, comment on this, look me up on Facebook (Shevelle Lee), and I will be there for you. I’ll talk to you, about anything.

The next subject is falling. Similar to my grades and my bank account and the leaves, I fell this semester. I fell to my lowest place. I also fell in love a million times with a million people, things, stories, skies and weirdly, AP style writing. I struggled a lot in school this semester, and I had three teachers who reached out to me, took my hand, and pulled me towards success. They’ve done everything that they could to make sure I’m not a failure, and honestly, thinking about it makes me cry a little bit. Here’s a small shout out to M, Dr. B, and Dr. T.  You three saved me. Even if that mean I had to give up the Oxford comma that I have dearly enjoyed since I learned it existed. I’ve fallen back in love with school. I hate it, still, because it gives me so much anxiety that sometimes after my classes I have to lay in bed and just breathe for awhile, but I’ve fallen back in love with learning. I’ve gotten back to my love of writing. I’ve grown fond of being around classmates, even if they don’t necessarily interact with me much, except for G, who sits to my right and shares understanding smiles with me, K, who is just beautiful, kind and love-able, and A, who isn’t from Nebraska and whose opinions just bring joy to my heart. I’ve gotten excited again about getting a degree, and I’ve gotten excited for my future jobs. I’ve job shadowed some wonderful people, and I’ve volunteered with some amazing people in a very unique setting. (If you’re ever in Lincoln, Nebraska, visit the Larsen Tractor Test Museum.)

Thank you for reading, and thank you for the continued support despite my absence from my blog since school has started. It’s been a rough couple of months, and my bipolar disorder, anxiety disorder, and depression haven’t helped, but I’m still willing to keep moving forwards towards better things, and I hope you are too.

I’m an Alien

You have an inner dialogue. You have a voice inside your head that speaks your thoughts. I do not. I have no inner voice or person. I read my thoughts like words off of a page inside of my head. This is why I think I am an alien. 

My thoughts come indifferent forms. Fun facts are usually words on post it notes. Conversation comes across in my head the way you’d read a script or dialogue in a book. I see all sorts of different voices, but I don’t hear them. I know most people do. And I hear normal voices but I don’t hear the inner voices. 

Am I an alien? Maybe.  


I’m getting a puppy. Given, if you know me at all in person you’re already very aware of this. But, as the date comes fast approaching that he’s old enough for me to take him home, and as I spend time around other dogs, it’s going to be a lot of work I’m realizing. 

Here’s a couple of things that I know are going to change. 

1. I’m going to have to be home way more often. As of now, I am never home, but a puppy needs a home. 

2. All of my extra money is going to go to Prior. I feel broke now, but puppies are expensive. 

3. Puppy play dates and cute pictures nonstop coming my way. That’s exciting. 

4. I’m going to be responsible for a life other than my own and my rad fish, jupiter’s. 

So that’s all a little frightening, but guys, I am so excited I might explode. 

Adventuring; A Beginner’s Guide to Lincoln

I used to do nothing but party, and I thought that was the only way to have fun, but recently, I’ve discovered a way better past time that’s much more rewarding. Adventuring has become a daily ritual for me, or at least something that I do absolutely as often as possible. Moving to Lincoln has left me with endless opportunities to explore and adventure so I figured I would share a couple of my favorite places to adventure with a small explanation of each in hopes to inspire more people to give up a life of partying for a life of adventure and real fun.

  1. My most recent adventures have been to Wilderness Park, which is easy to find on google maps, I believe it’s on NW 1st street. You park in a small lot, and pick a path, then just wander. My advice is to pay attention whenever you come to a fork in the path, as it’s easy to get lost, but luckily a lot of the paths lead to the same place. There’s miles of trails to hike, bridges to cross, and if you’re lucky, a myth about a witch to experience. Bring bug spray. I’m going to say that again, BRING BUG SPRAY. Water is always a good idea, too. Grab some friends, and go get lost.
  2. My favorite place in Lincoln is Densmore, which I’m sure there is a legal way to get too, but I wouldn’t know what it is. I get there by parking at the very back of the farthest parking lot of the Cooper YMCA, then follow the path behind the baseball fields, cross the railroad tracks, and follow the old rail road path until I get to the second bridge. It’s covered in graffiti. There’s also high way bridges with a bunch of cool graffiti even further, and although I haven’t seen it since the first time I went there my senior year, I believe there’s an abandoned archery range. Anyway, BRING BUG SPRAY. Enjoy the graffiti, walk over the bridges, enjoy the river. It’s beautiful.
  3. The next neat place is Hippie Cliffs. I’ve posted pictures of it before, but to get there you go to Pioneers park, drive down to a little lake, and there’s a tiny, barely noticeable path that leads back into the woods towards the quarry kind of. You follow a path and then there are cliffs to climb, another railroad bridge covered in graffiti to enjoy, old cars with stakes through them holding back the bank, and a few paths into the trees to explore. If you find the right one, you can end up in a clearing where you can see the quarry. Climb to the top of Hippie Cliffs, and there’s a fallen over tree, it’s safe to walk out on, I promise, and the view is totally worth it. Also, last time I was there I saw an unidentifiable animal that vaguely resembled a raccoon. So be on the lookout for neat wildlife. Oh, also, BRING BUG SPRAY.

There’s plenty more places and parks to adventure, those three are just my favorites. If you’re ever in Lincoln and wanting to go adventuring, let me know. I’ll gladly guide you to any of these places and we can go on the adventure together.